Return to Glory

Football. The South. The two go together like apple pie and ice cream. It’s huge here, to say the least and who doesn't love a good football victory? Have you seen the latest inspiring football movie, Woodlawn? Football brings people and communities together. In our great state of Alabama you, more than likely, are one of two types of fans, Auburn or the "other team." Anybody in Alabama knows who I'm talking about... the Alabama Crimson Tide. If you live in or are from Alabama, you generally decide from an early age to pull for one of the two teams. Usually, your parents steer you in one direction or the other. It’s kind of crazy, but it’s fun! We are a "house divided" as they say. My son, Tucker, and I are Auburn fans. My husband, Chad, however, is an Alabama fan. My daughter, Tess, leans toward Alabama, but honestly she really doesn’t care. Clark David on the other hand, well, let me just say, he cared! He was passionate for his favorite teams and players, Alabama and LeBron James. And, if you knew him, you knew it! He was a huge Alabama fan. He would say “you pull for a winner.” I like to watch college football, but it sure is better when you are pulling for a winning team (LOL!). If he heard me say that he would say, “That’s right” and then start ragging me. It is my favorite sport, but it's not an idol. I don't "bleed" it as some say. Don’t get me wrong, I like it a lot, but it’s just different around our home now. I have a reminder in my kitchen that says, “Enjoy the little things in life for someday you will realize they were the big things.” I miss the “little things”. The hype is gone. Over. Every college football season and professional basketball season my family heard how great Bama and Nick Saban (savior, he would jokingly say) is and how great LeBron is, a.k.a. the king of basketball to Clark David. No more taunting his younger brother, but especially me, his mom. He loved to do that! He loved to give his Auburn friends a hard time, too. Well, he could. Alabama wins, a lot! They still are. I mean they are the national champions, again! Yeah, yeah, we all know, Alabama’s the best and they are going to win the rest of the national championship titles until, well, until the Lord returns. And yes, we know how many national titles they have won, no need of that reminder. He loved to dish it out. Tease and taunt. Whether it was sports or anything, he was usually joking around or kidding with you. If he didn’t like you, he wasn’t giving you a hard time. I'm sure his friends miss that, too. His last Saturday here he was pumped about the upcoming games, trying to get a laugh out of me (which he did), and making fun of one of Auburn's slogans, he texted me: "It's bammmmeeerrr football day whooo whooo Guuuus buuuuuus." He loved to be goofy and remind me with a loud train like sound of "getting on the Gus bus." He always kept me laughing.

Even though he hated Auburn, anything Auburn period, he had planned to attend Auburn University the fall of 2015. Some of his longtime friends attend there and he really liked the campus. He decided to go down to Auburn to visit his friend, Josh (an Auburn fan), the day of the much anticipated 2013 Iron Bowl. I was surprised he was going because I thought, "what if Alabama loses while he is in Auburn?" That would not be good. Unless you don't follow college football or you live under a rock in Alabama, you know what happened. The Tide lost! "Auburn stuns Alabama with last second touchdown in epic Iron Bowl", USA Today wrote. "It was an Iron Bowl for the ages and no one could have predicted the ending." Auburn, not Alabama would now go to Atlanta the next Saturday and play for the SEC title. The usual traditional rolling of the trees for home wins took place that night like no other. Alabama fans like to forget the infamous "kick 6", but Auburn fans treasure it. Yeah, we know, it doesn’t happen much. But, hey, have you got a “second?" These taunts and jokes never get old unless you're on the receiving end. Okay, Alabama is a great team with a great coach, but you’ve got to admit, it was spectacular to see the ESPN SportsCenter moment play out right before your eyes. We all wanted to see again what had just happened! Some fans were shocked as their jaws dropped and mouths opened while others were elated and hoping for no flags. And Auburn didn't even have Cam! "Lucky," is what some may say. My children know I don't like that word. It's not in my vocabulary, just like “accident” isn’t in God’s, nor “karma”, or “chance." I believe everything is providential! The sovereignty of God. After Josh heard the horrific news of his friend, he so graciously framed and gave me a picture of the divinely captured moment that night of him and Clark. To my surprise, they were standing in the middle of what looked to be a snow storm, but of toilet paper hanging from the trees on Toomer's Corner after Auburn's upset. I never would've imagined the day I would see Clark David there, especially right there! I attribute that to God's goodness, grace, and mercy. Only God can design such an event like that and leave such a special gift. I hope it's a reminder to Josh, as he looks at the picture in the future, that just like they were in the middle of that storm of toilet paper, God is in the middle of whatever storms he finds himself in because God brings them. No doubt the memory is priceless to Josh now. My picture hangs in a special place, overlooking the gathering spot in the basement where they once hung out. I treasure it.

After Alabama won the national championship this year, I happened to see Coach Nick Saban’s interview (normally I wouldn’t have listened). When he was asked “how do you respond to loss?" it caught my attention. He answered, “You have to overcome adversity. No one likes to experience loss, but it has the potential to make us better. It doesn’t come easy. It takes grit, determination, and dedication.” His words were compelling to me. How had Alabama responded to their loss of the season? They determined to work together as a team and "tackle" their opponent. This contact sport of football reminded me of life. It comes with many hard blows. When life knocks us down, do we get back up again and defeat our opponent or give up? As Roger Staubach once said, "If you're not playing hurt, you're not really playing football." The same can be said with life. We all experience hurt, but if we aren't living life hurt, then we aren't really living. Hurts in life have the potential to make us better if we respond with the right attitude. It's easy to respond correctly when everything is going our way, but how do we respond when things don't? Do we react in opposition to hurt, heartache, or loss of __________(fill in the blank) or act to improve what seems to be a hopeless situation? Do we crawl in a hole and die, so to speak, and quit? Do we turn to someone or something to “help” us cope? Or do we choose to ignore it and hope it goes away? Those are definitely options, but they certainly don’t fix anything. Temporarily it may ease the pain, but issues that aren't confronted can't change. We only become better if we choose to move forward and face the challenge, no matter how difficult and painful it is. It's not easy. Like football, it takes determination, dedication, and,discipline. And it can't be done on your own. You have to do your part and your teammates have to do theirs to overcome defeat. There are only two teams that matter in the state of Alabama, right? Auburn vs. Alabama. Well, there are really only two teams that matter in life. God vs. Satan. Winners vs. Losers. But, not just temporary losers. This loss is not just for 365 days as we Auburn/Alabama fans are used to. These losers are forever reminded of all their missed field goals and extra points. All missed opportunities to join God's team, will be forever remembered as they are turned away from entering Heaven to suffer in the intense flame in Hell for eternity. But, (there's always a "but" with God) if you are a player on God's team, you will always be victorious. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31b) He always defeats the opposing side and gets the "W." The opposing team (Satan, our adversary) is defeated forever! If we will trust God (the Coach) and work with Him, He will tackle our opponent and be victorious for us.  Do you know, that you know, that you know, that you're on the winning team? Lots of people think they're on the team and are going to Heaven. Many will find out when it's too late that they knew about God, but didn't know God. As we all will, one day soon, individually stand before our Maker, those who don't have an intimate relationship with Jesus will hear Him say the most disheartening words, "I never knew you. Away from Me you evildoers." (read Matthew 7:21-23) We're eternal beings, made by God and for God. He has put a GOD-SHAPED HOLE in all of us that only He can fill. You will know true happiness, success in God's eyes, and your purpose in life only when the empty spot in your heart is filled with Him.

Upon hearing Nick Saban, I not only realized his words of wisdom could challenge anyone in the game of football, but more importantly in the battle of life. His interview took my mind back to a special moment where God comforted me with three words "Return to Glory" that all started with a visit to the cemetery.  It was Monday, October 12, 2015. I went to Clark David’s spot in the Earth, the place that commemorates his life. It had been the year anniversary of his passing and I needed to remove the flowers. As I walked to his headstone, to my surprise, a floral arrangement had been left with a note from Josh. The flowers were red and white with none other than a black and white hounds tooth ribbon affixed with an Alabama "A". It caught me off guard because when Josh had previously visited his grave he left an Auburn snowman! Josh later told me, "I could just hear Clark saying what are you doing? Don’t put that here. I hate Auburn and anything about them. I will never be an Auburn fan!" It made me smile to think of that and this time see he was remembering him with colors he would've liked and a note that said, "Only for you, "ROLL TIDE!" As I cherished that bittersweet moment and was rearranging the flowers, due to the wind, the letter fell off. It was too wet and windy to figure out how to fix it so I took it with me. I couldn't throw it away. "What am I going to do with this?", I thought. When I arrived home it came to me, his room. I will put it in his room. 

As I searched for a place to put the letter, I noticed his Alabama magazine that I had seen before, but hadn't paid much attention to it like I did then. It was the 2010 Alabama National Championship Magazine with Mark Ingram on the cover kissing the crystal football trophy. I glared at the cover as I read the title, “Return to Glory, Remembering the Tide’s Perfect Season." "Return to Glory." I stopped. "Return to Glory," I read again. God graciously reminded me that Clark David indeed has "returned to glory" to be forever with God and it would be used for His glory. Psalm 73:24 calls Heaven itself "Glory.” It used to be common to hear Christians talk of death as being “received unto Glory,” which is a phrase borrowed from this Psalm. When a Christian dies, he is taken into God’s presence, and in His presence is naturally surrounded by God’s glory. We are taken to the place where God’s beauty literally resides –the beauty of His Spirit is there, because He is there. Again, the beauty of His Spirit (or the essence of who He is) is His “glory.”  In that place, His glory does not need to come through man or nature, rather it can be seen clearly, just as 1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known" (www.gotquestions.org). And, much to my astonishment, I found an Alabama ticket stub still lying on his bookshelf from a game he had attended. Glancing at first, then looking more intently (I don't know why), the date caught my attention. October 6, 2007. I stared. October 6, 2007. Amazing! The exact same day he left this Earth. 

Days later I heard the news again, this time telling of the Alabama football team's parade being held in their honor for winning the national title this year. My mind went back to the picture of the magazine. I felt God nudging my spirit to write about this. As I was contemplating all of this, the date on the ticket stub vividly popped in my head, but this time it was the year that was etched in my mind. October 6, 2007! That's why I had looked at it more intently. I hadn't thought of it until then, but it was no surprise to God, that exactly seven years after he attended that game, Clark David’s life would be complete. Exactly seven years! Complete! If you’re familiar with numbers in the Bible at all, you may know that the number 7 is very significant. It is used hundreds of times (approximately 50 times in the book of Revelation alone, www.creationconcept.wordpress.com). It’s the foundation of God’s Word. Seven is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things. It’s enlightening to see how often this number occurs in the Bible and the various ways it is used (www.biblestudy.org). Seven is "The Perfect Number" (see video). God has shown me in His Word that He knows the number of our days and no purpose of His can be thwarted (Job 42:2). Just as He determines our last breath, He determined the precise moment of Clark David's exit from Earth, decreed the number of his months, and set limits he could not exceed (Job 14:5). First it was the title of the magazine and then the ticket stub. I was amazed! God keeps affirming and giving me concrete reminders that in His permissive will, He allowed Clark David's life and purpose to be perfect and complete! 

Every one has a story and my son's story continues to be creatively woven together by the Master Weaver as He puts it in my heart.  As I look to Him, He allows me to see glimmers of hope in His beautiful tapestry. Instead of just objects lying in my son's room, I now see the magazine and ticket stub as heavenly reminders to keep my focus on eternity. He gently reminds me not to grow weary in this stopover to my heavenly destination because in due season I will reap (Galatians 6:9). In Him, I'm never alone. He is the Great Comforter. The God who comforts me in all my affliction, so that I may be able to comfort those in affliction (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). God proves He is always with me and Clark David is resting in His presence. I don't doubt it at all, but it is so satisfying to feel the touch of God’s love. Doesn't it make us feel good when someone reminds us of good memories and their love for us? It's encouraging. Heartwarming. I never forget His mercies. “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23).

God's messages to me are often times hard to convey, however, the I AM  has been and is directly delivering them. He is in the EYE OF THE STORM. Right in the center! Some messages have been in the form of dreams to family members and friends while others have been stories shared with me by Clark David's coworkers, friends, and family. Each one is precious to me! Sent by God Himself. My heart wants to share them with those that have been touched by his life. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:7 NIV). EVERY GOOD THING from above! That’s how I see it. Gifts. Good, perfect gifts signed, sealed, and delivered by Him with love. He reminds me that He is not stingy. “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11 ESV). It’s so amazing how God makes Himself  known to us if we are listening, anticipating His revelation, and then giving credit where credit is due.

Since Clark David has gone to his heavenly Home, things of this world just don’t appeal to me. "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3:8-14 NIV). "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?  "For to me TO LIVE IS CHRIST, and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).  As I mentioned in a previous post (see "Home for Christmas"), my circumstances have changed my outlook. My citizenship is in Heaven. I eagerly await His return as Savior (Philippians 3:20). I long for that place because my son is there, yes, but Christ has shown me something else. It's not the place, but the Person who resides in that dwelling I long for. It is Paradise, but Jesus is there and that is all I need! I'll be with my Heavenly Father soon, OH GLORIOUS DAY, and Clark David will be an added bonus! Years ago a friend told me, “Think of the best thing you have ever tasted; that is just a small taste of what Heaven will be like.” It reminded me of a radio broadcast I recently heard about Heaven. No matter how much you have sinned, in Christ, there can still be a place for you. Jack Graham says, "The best of Earth is an appetizer of Heaven. I have developed a taste for Heaven.. I've never been there, but I'm Homesick already." Based on what I read in scriptures, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE, what it will be like there, and what it will be like to see Jesus face-to-face (in Clark David's younger years, he loved when Mike Bentley sang this song at Seventh Street Baptist Church). As 1 Corinthians 2:9 states, 'but just as it is written, things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him."

God, the Refiner, is the best Teacher. He has put me in a hard class, as you may be, but with Him as my instructor I will pass this test as long as I abide in Him. He is making "DIAMONDS out of dust, diamonds out of us." Staying close to my Tutor is teaching me much. He gives me these words to share His love in a dark world, one that needs to GLOW IN THE DARK.  So many people are walking around in the dark unsure of where they are going. Only the Light can lead them out of the darkness that surrounds them.

The Father loves all the people He has created and wants no one to perish, but all to come to repentance. Jesus came to seek and save the lost. He knows all won’t be saved, for He knows the hearts of men. He gave us the inspired Word of God that tells us this. As I spoke to a packed congregation on Thursday, October 9, 2014, at my son’s funeral, and as I told him, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many..." (Matthew 7:13 ESV). The New Living Bible states it this way, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to Hell (hmm, reminds me of a song) is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.” Choose? That's right. God is such a loving God He gives us a choice. He doesn’t force His love on anyone, but allows us to make the decision of where we will spend our eternity.The One true living God is a God of love, but also a God of wrath and His judgment is coming! "If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond THE RIVER, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD" (Joshua 24:15 NASB). As it is said, "Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in rebellion" (Hebrews 3:15 NIV).

 

"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved..."  (Acts 16:31 NIV).

If you have been guided here, my prayer is you have seen that God can always be found, found right in the center of  the struggle(s) you face because He allowed it (them) and loves you. The Son is always shining through your clouds if you look closely for Him. He will help you to keep PUSHING BACK THE DARK. “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV). He desires for you to find Him and promises you will, when your heart is in the right place. He has a purpose for your pain. Also, I pray this will encourage you with the comfort, peace, and hope God has given me through the extreme sorrow of the earthly death of my son. If you call to Him He will answer, be with you in trouble, rescue you, and honor you (Psalm 91:15, Jeremiah 33:3).

This blog is my legacy to my husband and prince, Chad, my tenderhearted son, Tucker (Happy 16th Birthday today), and my precious daughter, Tess. Your grief is never forgotten. My prayer for you, as you grow in the Lord, is that you will fall more in love with Jesus and that love will guide you to be a Light in this ever increasing dark world. "Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known" (Jeremiah 33:3 ESV). "Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory (Colossians 3:2-4). 

To the rest of my surviving family, I am trusting Jesus to refine hearts by His grace and mercy through this great trial and I pray He will equip you to persevere and tell others that His Kingdom is at hand.



*God started applying His balm to my bereaved soul in many ways, music being one.You can click on the highlighted/capitalized words which are links to songs that continue to bring solace to my broken, yet healing heart.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. . .

He put a new song in my mouth. . ." (Psalm 40:1-3).