Happy 12th Birthday Clark David,
with your sisters & brothers-in-Christ and our "FATHER" in Heaven!

I don't know how they celebrate birthdays in Heaven, but I know every day is a day of rejoicing!! On Earth we continue to celebrate your birth day every year and our grateful for all the wonderful memories of our nineteen years with you (Tucker his fourteen and Tess her eleven)! I'm even more grateful because of the day you were "BORN AGAIN" and became a child of our Father adopted into God's family that this is not the end!!!!!

This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24 NKJV) emphasis added).

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only that, but we rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

 (Romans 5:1-5 NKJV, emphasis added).

The day you were born, 31 years ago, will forever be etched in my mind and heart. As the nurse handed you over and I cradled you in my arms and then onto my chest, I spoke to you and I believe because you knew my voice your eyes immediately turned to mine as you fixed them on me. You needed my arms to carry you, hug you, hold you, and support you. I wonder...after I hear our Shepherd's voice in Heaven, will your voice be the next one I hear? Will the roles reverse and your voice will call out to me? Regardless, I know my eyes and heart will rejoice and it will be an experience I've never known when I get to embrace you in my arms and see you again! 

As I wrote this, I was reminded of the lyrics to Jeremy Camp's song "FATHER" that says, "I was born to need You...to lead me, protect me, bring me Home."  You were born to need a mother, and I was given the special privilege of doing all these things for you which showed me a different perspective of God's love through the lens of motherhood. We all come into this world in great need. At the time, you didn't know how much you needed me and I didn't know how much I needed you. The same with a father. You didn't know how much you needed him nor did he know how much he needed you. But more importantly than that was in time, you saw your need for Father, God and became His child because we're all "born broken so He can make me whole and bring me Home."

Pain of course is universal, and Almighty God uses it to serve His purposes no matter how they come, but like so many others who have walked a similar road, it's a loneliness like nothing I've ever journeyed through. And the stigma that comes with it makes it a very complicated grief, "but God." My two favorite words in the Holy Bible come to mind. "HE KNOWS," and that's what matters and that comforts me. I never walk this road alone if I have Jesus and thank God I do!!!

As anyone who has sought the Lord in their greatest trial and heartache has said, "Where would we be without Him on our side?" I'm so grateful my Shepherd has taught me and is still teaching me to lean on the "EVERLASTING ARMS" of the One and only Sustainer and to listen for and to His voice (*John 10:27). 

Providentially, we took a day trip to Bell Buckle, Tennessee yesterday to celebrate your birthday and I didn't have time to finish this. So, today in church we sang a song I had never heard before that was such an affirmation to what the Lord had put on my heart. The title of the song is "LEARNING TO LEAN ON JESUS." Thank You, Lord!

Also, thank You Lord, for using this child to teach me so much...to teach me perseverance, character, and hope. Thank You that I'm still learning to lean on You and this crucible is preparing me for glory when I meet You face to face. Thank You for the gifts of Tucker and Tess too because it's through my children that I've grown stronger in my faith in You. My greatest "loss" on this Earth has been my greatest gain because it drove me closer and deeper into the loving and comforting arms of Jesus! By amazing grace through faith, when I surrendered my heart to You and became a born-again Christ follower three years before Clark David's birth, I was empowered and equipped through the Holy Spirit to be able to tell him about You so he could believe in You, (through repentance), accept You and be in Heaven with You for eternity. Thank You he too heard Your call and voice and one day soon I will be "WHERE I BELONG." along with all my sisters and brothers in Christ with our forever Family with You are perfect Father and our Lord and Savior!

(hover over and click all caps to hear songs and/or testimonials)

 

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me (John 10:27 NKJV).

I LOVE YOU, CLARK DAVID, and MISS YOU EVERY MOMENT of this temporary separation!!