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| Beginning of the Seventh Year Without Clark David picture taken October 9, 2020 *Blog posted one year later Oct. 2021 |
It's been awhile. Seven months to be exact since I posted last (there's that number again). I struggle with always wanting to hear from the Lord correctly and not write on my own accord. The Lord always affirms when to write and if I have reservations I don't post (I have three drafts never completed). This time it seems He is saying, "Yes, it's time to write down what I put on your heart last year October 6th, 2020 (a 20/20 vision year for me). You leave the results to Me. I know how vulnerable your heart is, but all that matters is You live to please Me. Don't be so concerned with getting it all right, afraid you will say or do something wrong. And don't let negative words spoken in the past cloud your mind. I will take care of that. Remember, you write for an audience of One, I take care of everything else. Faith is action. Obey My prompting." Now, keep in mind...I did not audibly hear the words in quotes. That's what the Holy Spirit laid on my heart.
I never want my resistance or hesitation to lead to disobedience and miss a divine opportunity for the Lord to work. Providentially, I picked up a book I haven't touched since 2017. It's actually placed under a lamp on an end table so technically I have touched it, when I dust, which isn’t often ;). Something my sister said yesterday prompted me to get it. When I opened it up to look for what I wanted to show her, it was bookmarked to this underlined passage: "We felt such a sense of purpose in sharing our journey. It was energizing and life-giving to impact others through our story of suffering. We were coming to understand more and more deeply that the stories that have the greatest impact are the ones that are hard, painful, gritty, and real--and more often than not, ones we never would have chosen for ourselves. We knew there would likely be more pain ahead for us, but the opportunity to inspire others became a reason to get out of bed in the morning into a world and a life we never could have imagined." --Hope Heals, Katherine (and Jay) Wolf. Hence, after reading that it was just more affirmation. It was more proof what the Lord was saying to me. Our stories can do mighty things in the hands of a mighty God.
And speaking of the vulnerability of my heart, I believe vulnerability breeds vulnerability. That doesn't mean it comes easy for some. But when it does come, it is freeing and speaks life to others. Sometimes my vulnerability makes me second guess speaking up or writing. It's hard dealing with any negative pushbacks or questioning was that the right thing to say or do. And recently, I read in "Uninvited" by Lysa TerKeurst, what many see as an asset of someone's, others see as a liability. So that's another reason I want to make sure I'm hearing from the Lord and not myself. But if I don't take that risk, will I ever help someone else or myself? Will I miss out on more that God wants to accomplish through me? Am I going to give the Lord free reign to work in and through me for His purposes?
I've said before that I don't believe in luck. And I don't. I've said that I don't believe in coincidences. And I don't, not by the world's definition. I believe in providence. I've also said that I didn't think "coincidence" was in God's vocabulary. Well, I was wrong. I've found out it is, but it's not the way a natural man uses it.
The word coincidence is used only once in the New Testament, and it was by Jesus Himself in the parable of the Good Samaritan. In Luke 10:31, Jesus said, "And by a coincidence a certain priest was going down in that way, and having seen him, he passed over on the opposite side (some translations say 'by chance')." The word coincidence is translated from the Greek word synkyrian, which is a combination of two words: sun and kurios. Sun means "together with," and kurios means "supreme in authority." So a biblical definition of coincidence would be "what occurs together by God's providential arrangement of circumstances."
What appears to us a random chance is in fact overseen by a sovereign God who knows the number of hairs on every head (Luke 12:7). Jesus said that not even a sparrow falls (hops) to the ground without our Father's notice (Matthew 10:29). In Isaiah 46:9-11, God states unequivocally that He is in charge of everything: "I am God, and there is none like Me.I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, 'My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.' From the East I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill My purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do." (gotquestions.org)
As I started to prepare for what we would have, I knew dessert would be a part of the celebration. I walked down the isle of the grocery store and spotted chocolate number shaped candles. I thought, "Great, that'll be perfect for the topper for dessert." Later, I got out the candles to put on the cheesecake I made in memory of Clark David (I knew Charley liked anything sweet I made so it wouldn't matter what I prepared ;)). I opened up the six candle first not thinking anything at all. I opened up the seven candle. It brought to mind that I was heading into year seven without my eldest son.
Now, I've also mentioned in previous posts that I'm not a number person, meaning, I don't look for things to connect in some prophetic way. I'm not into arithmancy (divination by means of numbers) either. I don't believe God speaks in code. I mean He could, He is God. It is clearly evident numbers have great significance in the Holy Bible for sure! Just search it out, you can find plenty of information on that.
As I picked up the "7" to put it on the cake, I thought, "Seven...completion, maturity. Is this going to be the year that the Lord is going to bring something to full development? Will something ripen and produce fruit?" I picked up the "6" to put it next to the "7." When I did I thought, "Seven in front and six behind. Seven, reminded me to look ahead for what God will complete and mature and leave the past "6" years behind. I won't completely forget the past because I must learn from it, but I will continue to look for the new thing God will do. It's like God was telling me this was going to be the year for breakthrough. The past six years has been uncharted territory, but it's also been difficult to know what to do on this day. For me, it makes it sort of awkward, like the "white elephant in the room." We celebrate a another year of living for one person with a birthday on the same day there was a death no one wants to remember. Of course you don't remember one and forget the other. They're both significant. No one would choose to have this overshadow their birthday, but for reasons God only knows it fell on this day. I tried even harder (last year) not to let it overshadow or be awkward by celebrating at our house. I'm grateful for each year we get to celebrate Charley's birthday. I'm more grateful that Charley is a born-again believer because that makes his birthday celebration worth celebrating because if he wasn't, really what would there be to celebrate? Just another day of life without a living Hope. I'm also grateful that this is a day I can celebrate where I know my son is, with Jesus! Through Christ, he was given eternal LIFE, not torment. Seven years now to be exact. I wonder what he is experiencing while waiting?! I know its been nothing like its been here!! Oh, the joy of eternal life with Jesus to come with no more pain, suffering, and sin. Thank You, Lord for the cross, Your blood, and dying for our sins to be raised from death so we wouldn't have to pay for our sins forever and will soon be resurrected too.
The Lord reminded me again through Scripture that I'm to set my mind on things above. I'll show you...Set your minds on things above, not on things on Earth (Colossians 3:2 NKJV). The Passion Translation states it this way: Yes, feast on all the treasures of the heavenly realm and fill your thoughts with heavenly realities, and not with the distractions of the natural realm. And I like the Amplified Bible Version that says, Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on Earth [which have only temporal value]. The Living Bible uses the word 'affections.' So if I'm to see things from God's perspective and set my affections on things above, for me, one thing that says is I'm to focus my heart on where Clark David is, in the presence of the Lord (previous blog post March 14, 2016). I'm to focus my heart heavenward and remember what Jesus Christ did to save any who truly believe and repent and I’m to share that message of Hope (John 3:16, Ephesians 2:1-13).
But while I wait on what's to come, the Lord works down here on me (those who are truly His). So, the seventh year proved true for breakthrough! I heard the Lord correctly!! He set out to do a new thing. "See. I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" (Isaiah 43:19). Last year wasn't one bit easy. It was extremely difficult on our whole family, especially my 18 year old daughter Tess (maybe she will share her story one day to help herself and others). But as I heard Tony Evans say by way of a radio broadcast yesterday, "God flips the natural order of things so that which dies, comes alive."
Let me make this clear: A single grain of wheat will never be more than a single grain of wheat unless it drops into the ground and dies. Because then it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat --all because one grain died (John 12:24 TPT).
The Lord Jesus is the perfect picture of a single grain of wheat which can only become fruitful under certain circumstances. A single grain of wheat has within itself a germ of life which has the capacity to become abundantly fruitful. However, that ordinary little seed cannot increase and multiply while it is sitting inside a sack of corn. One single little grain of wheat has the tremendous potential to be incredibly productive. However, without it first falling into the ground - alone, and then dying...it is incapable of bringing forth any fruit.
The Lord Jesus Christ was the heavenly example of a single grain of wheat, falling into the ground and dying - in order to bring forth an abundant harvest, to the glory of God. There was no other way to redeem a lost world, other than Christ...the one single, perfect Seed in Whom resides life eternal, falling into the Earth, alone. He died in our place by shedding His life blood on the cross and took the sin of the world upon His shoulders. In Him was life - life from the dead, and His life was the light of men. However, Christ had no intention of remaining alone...for He is the eternal Son of God and He became the perfect Son of Man in Whom we have redemption, by faith. Having died and been buried...that single Seed of the Lord rose again, bringing many sons to glory and producing the rich harvest of a multitude of believers - a fruitful harvest that spans 2000 years of history.
And we, who have been saved by grace through faith in Christ, have within us the life of Christ which can become abundantly fruitful, when our lives resemble His likeness. May we mirror the attitude of Christ - so that by God's grace, we may become a fruitful branch of our heavenly Vine.
Heavenly Father, may I be willing to die to the things of myself and come to the place where I am able to put my old sinful nature in the place of death so that I may be raised up as a fruitful branch that honors my God and Savior. Thank You that Christ has indeed, swallowed up death in victory - may I live only for His greater praise and glory (dailyverse.knowing-jesus.com).
Your Word says, He (Jesus) must increase, but I must decrease. Or He must become greater; I must become less (John 3:30 ESV/NIV). This is my prayer for me, my family and anyone who is led here. For me, Clark David's death has led to revival in my own heart. Something has to die in order for something else to live and produce more fruit. I have a long way to go. Help me see clearer.
As painful as it was to experience what our family has been through in just the past year with my daughter and me, I continue to trust the Lord and live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). "Faith is acting like God is telling the truth. Faith is acting like it is so even when it's not so in order that it might be so simply because God said so" --Tony Evans
As believers, "we live by faith, not by sight"--God never wants us to live by our feelings. Our inner self may want to live by feelings, and Satan may want us to, BUT GOD wants us to face the facts, not the feelings. He wants us to face the facts of Christ and His finished and perfect work for us. And once we face these precious facts, and believe them simply because God says they are facts, He will take care of our feelings (streams in the desert, daily devotions).
God has been and is always doing so much behind the scenes, but He mainly works through trials and suffering. There's been much pain and suffering from what God unearthed last year. He's working now, unearthing more, I just cannot see it all yet. He's putting all the puzzle pieces together to complete His masterpieces. Though more pain/heartache will come in this life, I look forward to what He will continue to do for our good and His glory and am confident He will continue to be by my side holding my hand with His (Isaiah 41:10,13).
I don't know what you're going through today, but I trust it's something. Because life never stops. And there's always something around the bend. It may be really good, or it could be really bad and may look hopeless, BUT GOD! He is coming with breakthrough. Hold on. Don't lose hope. Help is on the way, (roundin' the corner). Help is on the way (comin' for ya).
BUT GOD! "That's the story I'll tell. You were right there and You have been ever since." Call on the Lord and He will show you great and mighty things you don't know (Jeremiah 33:3). He proves Himself over and over again when we call to Him and trust Him with everything. "Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart rely on Him to guide you, and He will lead you in every decision you make. Become intimate with Him in whatever you do, and He will lead you wherever you go. Don't think for a moment that you know it all, for wisdom comes when you adore Him with an undivided devotion and avoid everything that's wrong. Then you will find the healing refreshment your body and spirit long for." (Proverbs 3:5-8 TPT)
"There is a river over which every soul must pass to reach the Kingdom of Heaven and the name of that river is suffering--and the way to cross that river is a cross nailed together with love." Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way (thanks Julie F. for sharing this with me yesterday).
God's providence works through loss, that there is a ministry to us through failure and the fading of things, and that He gives the gift of emptiness. It is, in fact, the material insecurities of life that cause our lives to be spiritually established. The dwindling brook at the Kerith Ravine, where Elijah sat deep in thought, is a true picture of each of our lives. "Some time later the brook dried up"--this is the history of our yesterdays, and a prophecy of our tomorrows. One way or the other, we must learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver. The gift may last for a season, but the Giver is the only eternal love (streams in the desert, daily devotions).
I tried not to look at my phone today so I wouldn't be distracted from writing. I went to get it to video a baby turtle in the garage LOL! When I did, I noticed a text from my special friend, Pam W. I just have to share this huge encouragement and prayer from her: "Lord God, we thank You for the life you gave to Clark David. We thank You for drawing him to you and saving him at such a young age. I thank You Lord that Beth does not grieve as a mother who has no hope in where he lives now. She knows that he is with You. Thank You for the comfort You have given her in knowing that, which she now uses that same comfort to comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). Clark David brought so much joy and laughter to his family and friends. In Christ, we know we will see him again one day soon. Lord, until that time comes, we ask that You continue to heal broken hearts. Although the heartache of a person's absence never goes away until we're their with You, we know that You said, "Blessed are those that mourn for they shall be comforted." We thank You dear Father for that comfort for without it how could we survive? Lord, I can only imagine the pain of losing a child, but You know Lord. And you have purpose in all of our pain. I thank You for my sister in Christ, who has endured an unimaginable loss, yet through it has drawn closer to You as the years have passed. She has been an example to so many by loving You, speaking Your words to so many, and being a light to so many. I pray for the family, Chad, Tucker, and Tess that they be comforted and drawn to You. I pray that through all of our sufferings that we endure on this Earth, that You be GLORIFIED IN EVERYTHING. Father we thank You in Jesus' name for all Your blessings, for Your Word, and Your promises. Thank You for sustaining us through all things. We love you Heavenly Father, in Jesus' name, Amen.
Happy 77th Birthday today (2021), Charley - You are loved!
Happy 7th Heaven, Clark David - You are loved! You are MISSED!!
Laura says, "As long as she has her faculties, I'll never forget that boy. 💓
We'll seecha!
God has served notice. All farewells are on the clock. They are filtering like grains of sand through an hourglass. If Heaven's throne room has a calendar, one day is circled in red and highlighted in yellow. God has decreed a family reunion (you'll get through this, Max Lucado).
For the Lord Himself will appear with the declaration of victory, the shout of an archangel, and the trumpet blast of God. He will descend from the heavenly realm and command those who are dead in Christ to rise first. Then we who are alive will join them, transported together in clouds to have an encounter with the Lord in the air, and we will be forever joined with the Lord. So encourage one another with these truths (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18).
