Thursday, October 6, 2016



A Heavenly Anniversary

Anniversaries. These are days that mark special times in our lives and our nation that we celebrate or commemorate something or someone. Some of these dates we anticipate with excitement and pleasure, other days, not so much . Dates that were once marked with happy times are remembered by broken vows or unfulfilled dreams while other dates become unpleasant reminders of horrific magnitude. We don't like to be reminded of days filled with sadness or devastation that changed what once was. One thing is for certain, these dates are unavoidable. Days on the calendar can't be erased. We have to go through each day that we're given, but we can try to change the way we respond to them. Whether the event is scheduled or yet unknown, until it happens determines its individual significance. For instance, the infamous 9/11 date. If that happened to be your wedding anniversary and you lost your spouse or he was severely injured, that day has taken on a different meaning and is now seared in your mind not just as the day you married, but the day your life changed in a completely different way.

October 6, was just another day to me until I married and I added my father-in-laws birthday to my calendar. However, in 2014 that all changed when my oldest son passed from this life to the next. This date was one of those unscheduled unknowns. I mean if you've lived long enough you know unpleasant things will happen, but you just don't know what will happen or when the trouble will come. Another thing is for certain, God's Word promises trouble will come (John 16:33). That's why we must be prepared so we're able to withstand the heavy storms of life (see post "When The Storm Hits").

God's Word says take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). As year two comes to a close, my mind naturally turns to thoughts of reliving unpleasant memories. Satan, the adversary, accuser, and father of lies, who masquerades himself as an angel of light would like nothing better than to cause me despair. But, my faith and hope is found in nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness, therefore by the Power of the Holy Spirit working in my life, I am more than a conqueror and must quickly change my negative thoughts into positive, God focused thoughts. Today, that "SAME POWER" will equip me to renew my thinking, Yes, I'm separated temporarily from him and my heart still aches, but I will look at this day as the day of Clark David's heavenly anniversary, year two. Only God knows how much longer we all will have to endure the hardships of life on this Earth, but in Christ, it's only for a little while longer (1 Peter 1:6). I'm choosing to celebrate this heavenly anniversary as the day "THE GOD OF ANGEL ARMIES BY HIS SIDE", escorted him into glory to forever be with his Savior. God's angels lead him to WHERE THE LIGHT IS and carried him into the arms of Jesus. I see him dressed in white, every wrong made right,...oh so PRICELESS and FLAWLESS!

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, God has put many messages on my heart that I pen for my family and want to share with you about the ways He has comforted me. So today, I want to share a story that happened about two years ago that I hope gives you a new pleasant memory. When I posted, "Return to Glory" last year it became way too lengthy (I have so much to say I could write a book) to include so I saved it to share today.

God used Clark David's love for Alabama football to send me a message last year. When basketball season arrived, much to my amazement God gave me another message of comfort. This time it was Clark David's love of basketball. He was fascinated with LeBron James. He followed him whether he was a Miami Heat or Cleveland Cavaliers player. People from the previous generation tried to tell Clark David that Michael Jordan was the best, but there was never any convincing him of that. In 2014, the Sports Illustrated cover title read, "I'm Coming Home." LeBron announced that he was leaving the Heat and returning home to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Clark David wasn't here October 30, 2014 to watch the most hyped homecoming since Odysseus sneaked into his palace again (article courtesy of New York Times). It was the most anticipated season in the team's history as they hosted the New York Knicks. LeBron stared out at the fans in pregame and went Dorothy on them: "There's no place like home." If you're a fan, it was an event not to be missed. The next morning, as I was exiting the kitchen to take his brother and sister to school, just 25 days after he left us, I stopped in my stride as I heard the morning news say about LeBron, "The prodigal has returned home." His favorite basketball team, his favorite basketball star, LeBron, had returned back to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Instantly, I repeated, "the prodigal has returned home" (thinking of the irony of that statement).  Indeed, the Lord's PRODIGAL was Home. My prodigal. As I prayed for Clark David the last time the morning of October 6th, I asked the Lord a bold prayer request. I just never would've thought it would turn out the way it did. I know the Lord answered my prayer! It just wasn't what I ever expected. God reminds me, it's not about what I have planned, but what God allows for me which is best. Yes, it was sin, like any other sin, for Clark David to take his life, but God doesn't categorize sin. All sin, in Christ, is covered under His BLOOD, past, present, and future. I wanted the prodigal son Bible story, but God allowed a different plan. His days were numbered no matter what and nothing could thwart that (Job 14:5). Clark David did come back, one final time. I believe he was drawn back to his earthly home not because of what it was, but because of what it represented. Unconditional love, comfort, a place of his own, safety, and rest. Sounds a bit like Heaven to me. He is in his permanent HOME! And I'm confident he would say, "There's no place like Home."

Like I mentioned, this story happened almost two years ago. So, I bought a new book July of this year called "Angels" by my favorite pastor, Jack Graham and in September I finished reading it. I knew I liked this man. He had similar thoughts of mine. I was so surprised to read the final few pages of the book and see in bold, "We All Just Want to Go Home." Here's what he wrote:

In the summer of 2014, LeBron James stunned the sports world with his announcement that he was leaving the Miami Heat --which he had led to two NBA championship titles -and was heading back to his hometown of Cleveland, where he'd spent seven seasons prior to heading to South Beach. At the press conference he held on the eve of his first season there, he'd intimated he was going to spend a very long time in Florida, that he and teammates Dwayne (D Wade as Clark David called him) Wade and Chris Bosh were going to win not three, four, or even five championships, but many, many more. Analysts believed the "big three," as they were called, were still poised to do just that, even as LeBron started packing his bags. In an open letter he released to announce his rationale for heading back to Cleveland, James wrote, "I have two boys, and my wife, Savannah, is pregnant with a girl. I started thinking about what it would be like to raise my family in my hometown. I looked at other teams, but I wasn't going to leave Miami for anywhere except Cleveland. The more time passed, the more it felt right. This is what makes me happy."
The short answer as to why a superstar would leave the very team that would net him the most future victories, and in the shortest amount of time, is this: That superstar wanted to go home.    
Surely at some level, you and I can relate. We know what it's like to be on an extended trip and then to be reunited with our pillow, our bed: It feels so good to be home. We know what it's like to fall into the embrace of loved ones we haven't seen for quite some time: It feels good to be home. . .
We're all trying to find our way home, aren't we? We're all sojourners making our way home.
We all long for the sun to sink, as the old hymn goes, and the race to be declared run, for the strongest trials to have passed and for our triumph to have begun. "Oh, come, angel band!" our hearts cry out, "come and around me stand. Oh, bear me away on your snowy wings to my eternal home." which is exactly what the heavenly host will do, if we believe Luke 16. There we find a beggar named Lazarus who lived his earthly life covered in sores, and yet who, upon his death, was escorted to Heaven by an angelic accompaniment supplied by God (v.22).
When we breathe our last breath--and we will--and we speak our final words--which we will--and we say good-bye to this world, we can be assured that God's glorious angels will deliver us right to His side. Death has no hold on the believer! We will live in His presence,accompanied by the saints and angels for all eternity. 
I have made it through year two! It's hard to describe, but what seems like just moments ago he left sometimes seems like so long. It hasn't been easy, but Jesus never promised this life would be. He has promised me His Holy Spirit would be my Comforter and Helper though and He is by my side. He hasn't failed me and because I know He doesn't lie, withholds no good thing, and all His promises are true, He won't fail me ever (Psalm 84:11). Two years isn't a long time in the scope of eternity, but when someone you love is gone it is. Do I miss him? Terribly, but would I trade how God has been glorified and how it has changed my relationship with Him? No! This time of great testing God has allowed me to journey through has taught me about where my focus should be and what I should be doing while I wait. The longing for my son is changing more every day to the longing for my heavenly Father. The many tears have washed MY EYES AND OPENED THEM to see more clearly. Everything is about God and His Kingdom! Scripture mentions many verses about Heaven and thinking on heavenly things. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2) and storing up for yourselves treasures in Heaven not on Earth (Matthew 6:20). I've heard it said before, "Those that are so heavenly focused are of no earthly good." When I first heard that, I was confused. Why would the Bible mention Heaven so much if we weren't supposed to think about it? Maybe it's because many churches these days don't talk about where believers are going or sing about Heaven enough and our minds become desensitized, therefore think less about it. So, just last week I heard a radio broadcast and the pastor was giving a message on Heaven. After mentioning the very quote I had heard about Heaven he then said, "I disagree with that statement. It should be stated, "Those that are the most heavenly focused are the most earthly good." His message helped me understand we have to change our way of thinking. When we change our perspective to God's perspective we see more clearly what our purpose on this Earth is. We must be about our Father's mission and tell others what He has done for us, He can and will do for them too!






So you can say Jesus is...

My Victory!

I love you more than you know, but JESUS LOVES YOU the most!


Highlighted or capitalized words are links to my story through song.




Saturday, September 10, 2016

World Suicide Prevention Day

Suicide. A word that brings nothing good to my mind. A word that I wish was not in my vocabulary. It's a word no one likes to hear much less say, yet it's something that needs to be talked about more. It is a national health problem. And, like other diseases is no respecter of persons. People die from suicide just like any other organ disease, yet with this illness society tends to blame the victim. Imagine getting blamed for having cancer. The alarming statistics report that each year over 42,700 Americans die by suicide and with the stigma surrounding it the numbers are estimated to be higher due to underreporting. Men die by suicide 3.5 times more often than women. It's the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, however the 2nd leading cause of death for ages 10-24. In Alabama alone, it's the 3rd leading cause of deaths for the same ages. Untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide. It's also one of the leading causes of preventable death in the nation. Let me repeat that. Suicide is one of the leading causes of preventable death in the nation! Most struggling victims reach out to someone first, but because so many are unaware of the warning signs and unintentionally don't take them seriously, the cries for help sadly go unnoticed.

National Suicide Prevention Week started, September 5th this year and goes through the 11th with World Suicide Prevention Day, Saturday the 10th. The official website of World Suicide Prevention Day 2016 can be visited at iasp.info. Many people will light a candle at 8 p.m. to honor those that have lost their lives to suicide and hopefully remember the survivors by praying for them. I was unaware of this until it affected my family almost two years ago. In correlation with this year's theme, "Connect, Communicate, Care", I hope to connect and communicate with you that you are not alone, people care, and you can get help. What matter's most is you are loved by God and He cares! The great Physician can and will help heal your deep hurts. It's okay to not be okay! There are many other people that are experiencing or have experienced similar struggles, but because of the associated stigma and shame they may feel, many don't know what to do and suffer in silence. Instead of being just a surviving mother of teen suicide, I am trying to use my platform to thrive and help others so one less friend or family member will not have to experience this deep grief and heartbreak that impacts so many lives in its wake. You may know someone who is battling with depression or will be in the future and hopefully you can be informed to help them. 

If we're honest, so many people struggle daily in silence because:
 "Truth is harder than a lie, the dark seems safer than the Light and everyone has a heart that loves to hide, I'm a mess and so are you, we've built walls that nobody can get through, yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do is bring your brokenness because love can heal what hurt divides...If We're Honest. (click to listen)
There are many advocates/foundations working on the front lines to help bring awareness and proper education to help those in crisis. Even though this information was not put in my path when I needed it, I want to pass it along. We can all learn from each other. I appreciate and would love to personally thank people who are trying to put others needs ahead of their own and are becoming better not bitter due to their hurt. Clark Flatt is one of those people and Nick Saban graciously used his clout to help him achieve his goals. Flatt has triumphed so to speak in turning his tragedy into the good of helping many others by trying to save lives. His 16 year old son became a statistic of the "Silent Epidemic" of youth suicide his website states. In trying to come to terms with what happened, he began researching youth suicide. Over 100 young people this week will become victims he writes and many times it can be prevented and that's what The Jason Foundation is all about. I personally learned of his story when watching the news last March (watch Nick Saban talk about youth suicide prevention and how 2 calls from Nick Saban kick-started legislation to prevent youth suicide). After some prompting from Alabama Football Coach Nick Saban, Governor Robert Bentley signed a bill into law making Alabama the 18th state to pass the "Jason Flatt Act" (Saban-backed suicide prevention bill becomes law in Alabama). The new law requires teachers seeking certification to go through additional suicide prevention training to equip them with information to help better identify and assist at-risk youth for suicide. I believe students need to be equipped as well or more so than teachers, and one way to start is by downloading the free app on The Jason Foundation website to educate youth (more below).

Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church and bestselling author, is another one of the many people making a big impact on mental health/suicide prevention. Warren's son died to suicide and he is now calling the church to begin a long road of clearing misconceptions about mental health and taking the plight of the suffering seriously. "I'm certainly not going to waste this pain," Warren said. "One of the things I believe is that God never wastes a hurt and that oftentimes your greatest ministry comes out of your deepest pain. I remember writing in my journal that in God's garden of grace, even broken trees bear fruit." In March of this year, Saddleback Church hosted The Gathering on Mental Health and the Church, which was a daylong event to raise awareness and spread information regarding the truth about mental illness and how the church can positively get involved. He says, "It's amazing to me that any other organ in your body can break down and there's no shame and stigma to it, but if your brain breaks down, you're supposed to keep it a secret" (relevantmagazine.com, "Rick Warren Says the Church Needs to Get Serious About Mental Health"). Rick's wife Kay Warren is also an advocate to suicide prevention and has turned her pain into trying to inform and help others. You can follow her on Twitter (@KayWarren1) and visit her website (kaywarren.com).

Anthem of Hope (anthemofhope.org) is a non-profit orgainization devoted to helping those battling brokenness, depression, self-harm, suicide and addiction find hope through community and support. This group is dedicated to providing multiple avenues of support for those in need. Their 24/7 crisis line and mobile application are only two of the many ways they plan to provide help to those in need. You can follow them on Twitter
@anthemofhope. 

Jamie Tworkowski is another advocate of suicide prevention. In an article titled, "It's Time to Remove the Mental Health Stigma," in Relevant Magazine (relevantmagazine.com) he discusses why World Suicide Prevention Day matters. The writer of the article states that the tragedy of someone taking his or her own life is multiplying. For those of us who believe God made people in His image, this is a crisis. Tworkowski has spent the last decade trying to fight this crisis. He's the founder of the global non-profit, To Write Love on Her Arms, and the best-selling author of "If You Feel Too Much." Each year they build a campaign around a statement: Two years ago it was "No one else can play your part," and last year it was "We'll see you tomorrow." This year their campaign is based on a statement from a book called *Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig. Essentially, they're inviting people to finish the sentence, "I kept living because _______."  You can follow Jamie on Twitter (@jamietworkowski) and read the full article to find out more. 

A book I was given not long after my son passed away entitled "Melissa", written by Frank S. Page, President of the Southern Baptist Executive Committee, was so helpful. Even though painful at times, his story and the courage he had to share his story has helped me tremendously and many others as well. The book has letters sprinkled throughout written to someone who might be considering suicide. He also shares a helpful video message on suicide and depression on his website (frankpage.org).

I am grateful God has put these people and stories in my path to help me on my journey. Maybe, in Heaven one day soon, I will be able to thank some of them.

In the wake of National Suicide Prevention week, I came across an uplifting article posted on Twitter by yellowhammernews.com/faithandculture (click to read) about an Alabamian sharing his suicide survival story. I hope it encourages you or someone you know that there is life beyond depression and help can be found.

Like I mentioned above, what matters most is God's love towards you. Choose to believe God loves you! If you are a Christian, a born-again believer, it's very important to see yourself the way God sees you. Your view of yourself will determine your future. You are part of God's plan and He has a purpose for you. "Long before He laid down the Earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love" (Ephesians 1:4 MSG). 

As Rick Warren states in Daily Hope -This is How God Feels About You, "God looks at you and He loves you simply because He made you. The Bible says that the entire universe was created simply so God could create the human race so He could love us. We are the focus of His love, unlike anything else in creation. We were created to be loved by God. If you ever grasp the profound truth just shared and let it sink into your soul, you will never again have a problem with insecurity or low self-esteem. Because when you realize that God created the entire universe just so He could create the conditions so that human beings could exist so He could create you and love you, it will take away all those feelings of insecurity. God created you in order to love you. The most important thing you can know is that truth. And the most important thing you can do in life is to know and love Him back. That's the number one purpose in life. The tragedy is most people go through their entire life missing the purpose of it. They know all kinds of things - stock quotes, sports scores, who's on the cover of People magazine - but they don't know God. You may know about God, but do you know Him personally?" 

Do you have a friendship, a love relationship with God's Son, Jesus Christ? If you don't, that is the most important choice you will make. Turn towards Him and He will show you your purpose and worth. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6)

 "You make your choices, your choices make you."-Jack Graham

Choose to serve the Lord (not self, like we're all prone to do).

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." 
Joshua 24:15


*I'm not familiar with the contents of the book mentioned above, Reasons to Stay Alive, but because I believe in the living God who is the Creator of life, the reason to live is to to glorify Jesus Christ (life is not about me)! "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved..."
Acts 16:31



I encourage you to research The Jason Foundation website at www.jasonfoundation.com, read his story, learn how and where to get help,and how you can become more informed to possibly help someone else. Download the free app on your phone, (a great tool for young ones and teens) which explains how to "get help now", "how to help a friend", "warning signs", and "resources for help". Because suicide is now part of my story, I feel with the proper education of teachers, students, and parents, many can be prevented. Much has been done, but there is still more to do and educating students and their peers about this growing crisis is key. Share this with a friend and maybe you can possibly help a friend in need.


Monday, March 14, 2016

Dear Younger Me


Today, March 14th, as I reflect on the birthday of my first born son and what would've been his 21st birthday, it is definitely bittersweet. But, there is another date that is more important than his physical birth. The day Clark David was born again! If it wasn't for this day, I'm not sure how I would get through life. This most important day gave him eternal life in God's Kingdom. Birth is the beginning of life, but to be BORN AGAIN is to begin to live anew. Jesus replied to Nicodemus,"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the Kingdom of God" (John 3:3). Jesus teaches Nicodemus how to be born again (John 3:1-21).

I am grateful the Lord put on my heart where to look for the date that was my thought last night, but became my focus today. The Lord led me to the answer to the question I had asked myself. I wonder if I wrote down the day Clark David was saved and if so where did I put it? Immediately, I went to his baby book and after a few flips of the pages found the torn piece of paper with the jotted down note that was never transferred to the "Letter From Mom and Dad" page. There it was! I had forgotten writing it down until I saw it. I was so overjoyed to find the note that read: August 22, 2000, Clark David believed on the Lord Jesus for his salvation at 908 Nunnelley Avenue sitting on the couch in the living room with me. He was almost 5 1/2. He had been asking questions for awhile. He asked me that afternoon, "How do I become a Christian?" I shared what the Bible said and then we prayed together and he became a child of God, born again to live forever with Jesus.  He came to me about 10 months later and wanted to be baptized. On July 1, 2001, he was baptized at Seventh Street Baptist Church.

A CD by Mercy Me was given to me many months ago and when I heard this song, DEAR YOUNGER ME, I thought of his life. "The choices that I made are the choices that made me. If I knew then what I know now, my condemnation would have no power . . . it wouldn't have been hard to figure out what I would've changed. . . it's not your fault, you were never meant to carry this beyond the cross...you are holy, you are righteous, you are one of the REDEEMED, set apart, brand new heart, oh you are free indeed!"

If you are feeling unworthy today, know this: YOU ARE LOVED by God, you are FLAWLESS in Christ, and JESUS LOVES ME (you)!


He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved..." (Acts 16:30-31)


* Music is one way God started applying His balm to my bereaved heart. You can click on capitalized words which are links to songs that continue to bring solace to my soul. 


"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry . . .

He put a new song in my mouth . . ." (Psalm 40:1-3)




Thursday, March 10, 2016



A RAINBOW SURPRISE!

I have set My rainbow in the clouds,
and it will be the sign of the covenant
between Me and the Earth (Genesis 9:13)


Early last Thursday morning as I was getting ready for the day, I couldn't ignore the hue of pink that shown through the sheer curtains of my bathroom window. As I walked through the house looking outside, the uncanny pink glow filled the air. It wasn't until my husband was heading out for the day and called me to come outside that I became aware of what God was beckoning me to see. To my surprise there was a brilliant colored rainbow streaming across the pink sky that was perfectly arched over our home. I ran to grab my phone to capture this spectacular rainbow, one like no other I'd seen, and a double one at that! Tucker, our son, had come out to see for himself.  The three of us just stood there and took in the breathtaking moment. It was absolutely stunning! By the time our daughter, Tess, arrived it had quickly faded away.

As I stood on the hill above our garage looking for the best angle, I noticed Tucker was captured in the image as I clicked the camera. When I later looked at the picture again, I realized he was standing in the same area where I had heard the earth-shattering news that changed my life. The driveway that, all too often, brings back horrible memories of the evil that had befallen our home not so long ago, was being covered with a rainbow. A rainbow surprise! The Creator had orchestrated this precise event and moment to speak to me without saying a word. God is in the business of new !  I now had a new thought to replace the old one with. When those bad memories come back, and I know they will, I can quickly take captive those thoughts and replace them with my rainbow promise. He has a plan and purpose for every moment of every day of our lives even when it sometimes seems to be an interruption to our plans. When I take time to absorb His beauty, He fills my heart with a lasting impression. He has been faithful to replace other bad images and memories with new, good ones and He had done it again! I continue to be amazed by His love, faithfulness, and abundant grace. He is making ALL THINGS NEW! He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then He said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." (Revelation 21:5)

Every time I see a rainbow, I’m reminded of God’s promise in the Bible to Noah and his family. As they exited the ark, Noah gave thanks, built an altar, and laid upon it an offering to the Lord, and gave himself and his family to God and promised to do God’s will. God was pleased. Then, God caused a rainbow to appear in the sky. He told Noah and his sons that whenever they or the people after them should see a rainbow they should remember that God had placed it in the sky and over the clouds as a sign of His promise that He would always remember the Earth, and the people upon it, and would never again cover the Earth with a flood to destroy them no matter how bad they may be (Genesis 9:16-17). 

Many times we fail or forget to keep our promises, but unlike us, God never fails or never forgets to keep His. He was visually using His amazing artistry to send me another message in my storm. God sent me a message recently by using an Alabama football magazine (see "Return to Glory" post), but this time He used the sky as He covered our home with a rainbow umbrella of promise. He is working all things together for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  

Later that evening I picked up a new book I'd been reading called, “All Things New - The Revelation; What It Means and Why It Matters” by Jack Graham. We who are still alive when the Lord Jesus is revealed will be “caught up” together with them (the dead in Christ already in Heaven) in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air (1 Thessalonians 4:17). The author then states, when we enter into His glorious presence we’re going to see and experience some unbelievable sights.
…a throne stood in Heaven, and one seated on the throne. And He who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian . . . (Revelation 4:2).  
The author goes on to mention that the word "throne" is used 47 times in the book of Revelation. Here, John sees God, the sovereign ruler of the universe, on the throne.

And then I saw what I hadn't read before, verse 3 of Revelation says this “. . . around the throne was a rainbow.”

Oh, wow, “a rainbow” I thought. I read further,
"It’s going to be beautiful in Heaven, beyond your wildest imagination! God loves color, and glorious colors surround His throne! The rainbow speaks of God’s eternal promise. Typically the rainbow shows up at the end of a storm, but in this case the rainbow of promise shows up in Heaven before the storm is unleashed upon the Earth," writes Jack Graham. 
There wasn't a storm per se on Thursday, but there was rain. Just like the author mentioned, this rainbow came before the storm. I had never seen a rainbow come before the storm (rain) and this one had made a grand entrance! The pictures do not do it justice. God was telling me He is still seated on His throne, is concerned about every minute detail of my life, and was showing me there are more rainbow promises to come in Heaven before God's judgment comes (Revelation 6-18).

Every time a rainbow shines in the world -it's a witness of God's promise. A promise is made stronger with a symbol (like a handshake) and/or made in the presence of many witnesses. This gives more credence to both parties that the promise will be kept. Scripture tells us colorful rainbows will be a part of Heaven. Rainbows are a taste of beauty believers look forward to in our future heavenly dwelling. Even though the rainbow represents God's promises to us on Earth; it also beams with the hope of Heaven in our hearts. The ultimate promise God makes to every believer is that their future Home is in Heaven. The rainbow will remain long after this Earth is past. Remember, when you witness a rainbow -know that God will keep His promises in spite of hardship, trials, persecution or any other life altering circumstances (www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com).

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ" (2 Corinthians 1:20). God's Word contains thousands of Bible promises waiting to be claimed in faith.



Just as you love to plan surprises for those who understand, and joy in them, so with Me. I love to plan them for those who see My love and tender joy in them (God Calling by A.J. Russell).


God had shown me all this by sending a double rainbow surprise!  His timing is always perfect. And He had chosen Clark David's birthday month of March to proclaim His handiwork to me!

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge (Psalm 19:1-2).

Look for the beauty and joy in your trials and suffering and you just might find Jesus!


* Music is one way God started applying His balm to my bereaved heart. You can click on capitalized words which are links to songs that continue to bring solace to my soul. Highlighted words are links to articles.


"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry . . .
He put a new song in my mouth . . ." (Psalm 40:1-3)








Monday, February 22, 2016

Return to Glory

Football. The South. The two go together like apple pie and ice cream. It’s huge here, to say the least and who doesn't love a good football victory? Have you seen the latest inspiring football movie, Woodlawn? Football brings people and communities together. In our great state of Alabama you, more than likely, are one of two types of fans, Auburn or the "other team." Anybody in Alabama knows who I'm talking about... the Alabama Crimson Tide. If you live in or are from Alabama, you generally decide from an early age to pull for one of the two teams. Usually, your parents steer you in one direction or the other. It’s kind of crazy, but it’s fun! We are a "house divided" as they say. My son, Tucker, and I are Auburn fans. My husband, Chad, however, is an Alabama fan. My daughter, Tess, leans toward Alabama, but honestly she really doesn’t care. Clark David on the other hand, well, let me just say, he cared! He was passionate for his favorite teams and players, Alabama and LeBron James. And, if you knew him, you knew it! He was a huge Alabama fan. He would say “you pull for a winner.” I like to watch college football, but it sure is better when you are pulling for a winning team (LOL!). If he heard me say that he would say, “That’s right” and then start ragging me. It is my favorite sport, but it's not an idol. I don't "bleed" it as some say. Don’t get me wrong, I like it a lot, but it’s just different around our home now. I have a reminder in my kitchen that says, “Enjoy the little things in life for someday you will realize they were the big things.” I miss the “little things”. The hype is gone. Over. Every college football season and professional basketball season my family heard how great Bama and Nick Saban (savior, he would jokingly say) is and how great LeBron is, a.k.a. the king of basketball to Clark David. No more taunting his younger brother, but especially me, his mom. He loved to do that! He loved to give his Auburn friends a hard time, too. Well, he could. Alabama wins, a lot! They still are. I mean they are the national champions, again! Yeah, yeah, we all know, Alabama’s the best and they are going to win the rest of the national championship titles until, well, until the Lord returns. And yes, we know how many national titles they have won, no need of that reminder. He loved to dish it out. Tease and taunt. Whether it was sports or anything, he was usually joking around or kidding with you. If he didn’t like you, he wasn’t giving you a hard time. I'm sure his friends miss that, too. His last Saturday here he was pumped about the upcoming games, trying to get a laugh out of me (which he did), and making fun of one of Auburn's slogans, he texted me: "It's bammmmeeerrr football day whooo whooo Guuuus buuuuuus." He loved to be goofy and remind me with a loud train like sound of "getting on the Gus bus." He always kept me laughing.

Even though he hated Auburn, anything Auburn period, he had planned to attend Auburn University the fall of 2015. Some of his longtime friends attend there and he really liked the campus. He decided to go down to Auburn to visit his friend, Josh (an Auburn fan), the day of the much anticipated 2013 Iron Bowl. I was surprised he was going because I thought, "what if Alabama loses while he is in Auburn?" That would not be good. Unless you don't follow college football or you live under a rock in Alabama, you know what happened. The Tide lost! "Auburn stuns Alabama with last second touchdown in epic Iron Bowl", USA Today wrote. "It was an Iron Bowl for the ages and no one could have predicted the ending." Auburn, not Alabama would now go to Atlanta the next Saturday and play for the SEC title. The usual traditional rolling of the trees for home wins took place that night like no other. Alabama fans like to forget the infamous "kick 6", but Auburn fans treasure it. Yeah, we know, it doesn’t happen much. But, hey, have you got a “second?" These taunts and jokes never get old unless you're on the receiving end. Okay, Alabama is a great team with a great coach, but you’ve got to admit, it was spectacular to see the ESPN SportsCenter moment play out right before your eyes. We all wanted to see again what had just happened! Some fans were shocked as their jaws dropped and mouths opened while others were elated and hoping for no flags. And Auburn didn't even have Cam! "Lucky," is what some may say. My children know I don't like that word. It's not in my vocabulary, just like “accident” isn’t in God’s, nor “karma”, or “chance." I believe everything is providential! The sovereignty of God. After Josh heard the horrific news of his friend, he so graciously framed and gave me a picture of the divinely captured moment that night of him and Clark. To my surprise, they were standing in the middle of what looked to be a snow storm, but of toilet paper hanging from the trees on Toomer's Corner after Auburn's upset. I never would've imagined the day I would see Clark David there, especially right there! I attribute that to God's goodness, grace, and mercy. Only God can design such an event like that and leave such a special gift. I hope it's a reminder to Josh, as he looks at the picture in the future, that just like they were in the middle of that storm of toilet paper, God is in the middle of whatever storms he finds himself in because God brings them. No doubt the memory is priceless to Josh now. My picture hangs in a special place, overlooking the gathering spot in the basement where they once hung out. I treasure it.

After Alabama won the national championship this year, I happened to see Coach Nick Saban’s interview (normally I wouldn’t have listened). When he was asked “how do you respond to loss?" it caught my attention. He answered, “You have to overcome adversity. No one likes to experience loss, but it has the potential to make us better. It doesn’t come easy. It takes grit, determination, and dedication.” His words were compelling to me. How had Alabama responded to their loss of the season? They determined to work together as a team and "tackle" their opponent. This contact sport of football reminded me of life. It comes with many hard blows. When life knocks us down, do we get back up again and defeat our opponent or give up? As Roger Staubach once said, "If you're not playing hurt, you're not really playing football." The same can be said with life. We all experience hurt, but if we aren't living life hurt, then we aren't really living. Hurts in life have the potential to make us better if we respond with the right attitude. It's easy to respond correctly when everything is going our way, but how do we respond when things don't? Do we react in opposition to hurt, heartache, or loss of __________(fill in the blank) or act to improve what seems to be a hopeless situation? Do we crawl in a hole and die, so to speak, and quit? Do we turn to someone or something to “help” us cope? Or do we choose to ignore it and hope it goes away? Those are definitely options, but they certainly don’t fix anything. Temporarily it may ease the pain, but issues that aren't confronted can't change. We only become better if we choose to move forward and face the challenge, no matter how difficult and painful it is. It's not easy. Like football, it takes determination, dedication, and,discipline. And it can't be done on your own. You have to do your part and your teammates have to do theirs to overcome defeat. There are only two teams that matter in the state of Alabama, right? Auburn vs. Alabama. Well, there are really only two teams that matter in life. God vs. Satan. Winners vs. Losers. But, not just temporary losers. This loss is not just for 365 days as we Auburn/Alabama fans are used to. These losers are forever reminded of all their missed field goals and extra points. All missed opportunities to join God's team, will be forever remembered as they are turned away from entering Heaven to suffer in the intense flame in Hell for eternity. But, (there's always a "but" with God) if you are a player on God's team, you will always be victorious. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31b) He always defeats the opposing side and gets the "W." The opposing team (Satan, our adversary) is defeated forever! If we will trust God (the Coach) and work with Him, He will tackle our opponent and be victorious for us.  Do you know, that you know, that you know, that you're on the winning team? Lots of people think they're on the team and are going to Heaven. Many will find out when it's too late that they knew about God, but didn't know God. As we all will, one day soon, individually stand before our Maker, those who don't have an intimate relationship with Jesus will hear Him say the most disheartening words, "I never knew you. Away from Me you evildoers." (read Matthew 7:21-23) We're eternal beings, made by God and for God. He has put a GOD-SHAPED HOLE in all of us that only He can fill. You will know true happiness, success in God's eyes, and your purpose in life only when the empty spot in your heart is filled with Him.

Upon hearing Nick Saban, I not only realized his words of wisdom could challenge anyone in the game of football, but more importantly in the battle of life. His interview took my mind back to a special moment where God comforted me with three words "Return to Glory" that all started with a visit to the cemetery.  It was Monday, October 12, 2015. I went to Clark David’s spot in the Earth, the place that commemorates his life. It had been the year anniversary of his passing and I needed to remove the flowers. As I walked to his headstone, to my surprise, a floral arrangement had been left with a note from Josh. The flowers were red and white with none other than a black and white hounds tooth ribbon affixed with an Alabama "A". It caught me off guard because when Josh had previously visited his grave he left an Auburn snowman! Josh later told me, "I could just hear Clark saying what are you doing? Don’t put that here. I hate Auburn and anything about them. I will never be an Auburn fan!" It made me smile to think of that and this time see he was remembering him with colors he would've liked and a note that said, "Only for you, "ROLL TIDE!" As I cherished that bittersweet moment and was rearranging the flowers, due to the wind, the letter fell off. It was too wet and windy to figure out how to fix it so I took it with me. I couldn't throw it away. "What am I going to do with this?", I thought. When I arrived home it came to me, his room. I will put it in his room. 

As I searched for a place to put the letter, I noticed his Alabama magazine that I had seen before, but hadn't paid much attention to it like I did then. It was the 2010 Alabama National Championship Magazine with Mark Ingram on the cover kissing the crystal football trophy. I glared at the cover as I read the title, “Return to Glory, Remembering the Tide’s Perfect Season." "Return to Glory." I stopped. "Return to Glory," I read again. God graciously reminded me that Clark David indeed has "returned to glory" to be forever with God and it would be used for His glory. Psalm 73:24 calls Heaven itself "Glory.” It used to be common to hear Christians talk of death as being “received unto Glory,” which is a phrase borrowed from this Psalm. When a Christian dies, he is taken into God’s presence, and in His presence is naturally surrounded by God’s glory. We are taken to the place where God’s beauty literally resides –the beauty of His Spirit is there, because He is there. Again, the beauty of His Spirit (or the essence of who He is) is His “glory.”  In that place, His glory does not need to come through man or nature, rather it can be seen clearly, just as 1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known" (www.gotquestions.org)And, much to my astonishment, I found an Alabama ticket stub still lying on his bookshelf from a game he had attended. Glancing at first, then looking more intently (I don't know why), the date caught my attention. October 6, 2007. I stared. October 6, 2007. Amazing! The exact same day he left this Earth. 

Days later I heard the news again, this time telling of the Alabama football team's parade being held in their honor for winning the national title this year. My mind went back to the picture of the magazine. I felt God nudging my spirit to write about this. As I was contemplating all of this, the date on the ticket stub vividly popped in my head, but this time it was the year that was etched in my mind. October 6, 2007! That's why I had looked at it more intently. I hadn't thought of it until then, but it was no surprise to God, that exactly seven years after he attended that game, Clark David’s life would be complete. Exactly seven years! Complete! If you’re familiar with numbers in the Bible at all, you may know that the number 7 is very significant. It is used hundreds of times (approximately 50 times in the book of Revelation alone, www.creationconcept.wordpress.com). It’s the foundation of God’s Word. Seven is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things. It’s enlightening to see how often this number occurs in the Bible and the various ways it is used (www.biblestudy.org). Seven is "The Perfect Number" (see video). God has shown me in His Word that He knows the number of our days and no purpose of His can be thwarted (Job 42:2). Just as He determines our last breath, He determined the precise moment of Clark David's exit from Earth, decreed the number of his months, and set limits he could not exceed (Job 14:5). First it was the title of the magazine and then the ticket stub. I was amazed! God keeps affirming and giving me concrete reminders that in His permissive will, He allowed Clark David's life and purpose to be perfect and complete! 

Every one has a story and my son's story continues to be creatively woven together by the Master Weaver as He puts it in my heart.  As I look to Him, He allows me to see glimmers of hope in His beautiful tapestry. Instead of just objects lying in my son's room, I now see the magazine and ticket stub as heavenly reminders to keep my focus on eternity. He gently reminds me not to grow weary in this stopover to my heavenly destination because in due season I will reap (Galatians 6:9). In Him, I'm never alone. He is the Great Comforter. The God who comforts me in all my affliction, so that I may be able to comfort those in affliction (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). God proves He is always with me and Clark David is resting in His presence. I don't doubt it at all, but it is so satisfying to feel the touch of God’s love. Doesn't it make us feel good when someone reminds us of good memories and their love for us? It's encouraging. Heartwarming. I never forget His mercies. “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23).

God's messages to me are often times hard to convey, however, the I AM  has been and is directly delivering them. He is in the EYE OF THE STORM. Right in the center! Some messages have been in the form of dreams to family members and friends while others have been stories shared with me by Clark David's coworkers, friends, and family. Each one is precious to me! Sent by God Himself. My heart wants to share them with those that have been touched by his life. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:7 NIV). EVERY GOOD THING from above! That’s how I see it. Gifts. Good, perfect gifts signed, sealed, and delivered by Him with love. He reminds me that He is not stingy. “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11 ESV). It’s so amazing how God makes Himself  known to us if we are listening, anticipating His revelation, and then giving credit where credit is due.


Since Clark David has gone to his heavenly Home, things of this world just don’t appeal to me. "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3:8-14 NIV). "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?  "For to me TO LIVE IS CHRIST, and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).  As I mentioned in a previous post (see "Home for Christmas"), my circumstances have changed my outlook. My citizenship is in Heaven. I eagerly await His return as Savior (Philippians 3:20). I long for that place because my son is there, yes, but Christ has shown me something else. It's not the place, but the Person who resides in that dwelling I long for. It is Paradise, but Jesus is there and that is all I need! I'll be with my Heavenly Father soon, OH GLORIOUS DAY, and Clark David will be an added bonus! Years ago a friend told me, “Think of the best thing you have ever tasted; that is just a small taste of what Heaven will be like.” It reminded me of a radio broadcast I recently heard about Heaven. No matter how much you have sinned, in Christ, there can still be a place for you. Jack Graham says, "The best of Earth is an appetizer of Heaven. I have developed a taste for Heaven.. I've never been there, but I'm Homesick already." Based on what I read in scriptures, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE, what it will be like there, and what it will be like to see Jesus face-to-face (in Clark David's younger years, he loved when Mike Bentley sang this song at Seventh Street Baptist Church). As 1 Corinthians 2:9 states, 'but just as it is written, things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him."

God, the Refiner, is the best Teacher. He has put me in a hard class, as you may be, but with Him as my instructor I will pass this test as long as I abide in Him. He is making "DIAMONDS out of dust, diamonds out of us." Staying close to my Tutor is teaching me much. He gives me these words to share His love in a dark world, one that needs to GLOW IN THE DARK.  So many people are walking around in the dark unsure of where they are going. Only the Light can lead them out of the darkness that surrounds them.

The Father loves all the people He has created and wants no one to perish, but all to come to repentance. Jesus came to seek and save the lost. He knows all won’t be saved, for He knows the hearts of men. He gave us the inspired Word of God that tells us this. As I spoke to a packed congregation on Thursday, October 9, 2014, at my son’s funeral, and as I told him, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many..." (Matthew 7:13 ESV). The New Living Bible states it this way, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to Hell (hmm, reminds me of a song) is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.” Choose? That's right. God is such a loving God He gives us a choice. He doesn’t force His love on anyone, but allows us to make the decision of where we will spend our eternity.The One true living God is a God of love, but also a God of wrath and His judgment is coming! "If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond THE RIVER, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD" (Joshua 24:15 NASB). As it is said, "Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in rebellion" (Hebrews 3:15 NIV).

 
"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved..."  (Acts 16:31 NIV).



If you have been guided here, my prayer is you have seen that God can always be found, found right in the center of  the struggle(s) you face because He allowed it (them) and loves you. The Son is always shining through your clouds if you look closely for Him. He will help you to keep PUSHING BACK THE DARK. “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV). He desires for you to find Him and promises you will, when your heart is in the right place. He has a purpose for your pain. Also, I pray this will encourage you with the comfort, peace, and hope God has given me through the extreme sorrow of the earthly death of my son. If you call to Him He will answer, be with you in trouble, rescue you, and honor you (Psalm 91:15, Jeremiah 33:3).

This blog is my legacy to my husband and prince, Chad, my tenderhearted son, Tucker (Happy 16th Birthday today), and my precious daughter, Tess. Your grief is never forgotten. My prayer for you, as you grow in the Lord, is that you will fall more in love with Jesus and that love will guide you to be a Light in this ever increasing dark world. "Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known" (Jeremiah 33:3 ESV). "Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory (Colossians 3:2-4). 

To the rest of my surviving family, I am trusting Jesus to refine hearts by His grace and mercy through this great trial and I pray He will equip you to persevere and tell others that His Kingdom is at hand.



*God started applying His balm to my bereaved soul in many ways, music being one.You can click on the highlighted/capitalized words which are links to songs that continue to bring solace to my broken, yet healing heart.



"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. . .
He put a new song in my mouth. . ." (Psalm 40:1-3).