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| The Best is Yet to Come!!! |
So, here we are in March again. March 1st Tess texted me, "This is my birthday month." I quickly texted back, "Oh, wow, yes, it is and Clark David's too (not that she is ever unaware). March 19th, Tess, who is the youngest child will turn 20. That's significant for me because I have three children, and only two who will reach 20. Tucker turned and passed 20, three years ago ;). I'm very grateful! But, as the song says that we sang at church Sunday, "He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name." Whatever happens, whether He (God) gives or takes away, my heart must and will choose to say:
"BLESSED BE YOUR NAME."(click to hear song)
As I paused to reflect on that Tess would soon be 20 and another child would make it out of teenage years, all of a sudden, I was like wait. Eight! When I posted about "new beginnings" October 5, 2022, that did not come to mind! Eight years after Clark David was born, God brought another baby into the world. Our first girl and last child. He blessed our family with Tess. After my middle child, Tucker was born, I wondered if I would only have two children. I was perfectly grateful and content with my two wonderful boys, but I didn't think that would be the end. However, not long after Tess was born those thoughts changed and I sensed our family was complete. And it was. I've not had any children since and am beyond child-bearing years ;).
Don't mishear me, Tucker is just as much a gift and blessing in my life! He’s just as important to fulfill and serve the purposes of God. However, since Clark David and Tess were/are so similar in a lot of ways and struggled in much the same way, God showed me that eight years after my first birth there would be another "new beginning" with Tess. Clark David didn’t live to 20, but Tess would. I’m seeing that through his earthly death, the Lord is allowing her to live longer and her life to come more alive so to speak. Naturally, I couldn’t see that until looking back in the rear-view mirror of life. It reminded me of my October 2021 post about the kernel of wheat in the Gospel of John:
"God flips the natural order of things so that which dies, comes alive."
Let me make this clear: A single grain of wheat will never be more than a single grain of wheat unless it drops into the ground and dies. Because then it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat --all because one grain died (John 12:24 TPT)."
Recently, I sat in our living room with the view of the picture posted above, directly in front of me. Tess on the left, Clark David in the center, and Tucker on the right. You know they say a picture is worth a thousand words? Well, I know this one could easily be. I mentioned it being eight years since I had touched Clark David in the "In Loving Memory" post. As I gazed at each child, I couldn't help but think of how Clark David wasn't for touching. His left hand is straight down, not grasping Tess's and his right hand is barely even touching Tucker's! Tucker remembers that day vividly. He remembers Clark David not wanting to hold his hand (hold that thought...no pun intended:)).
Then, I was drawn to their shadows. The 23rd Psalm came to mind. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." I'm so grateful and it makes me hope all the more that because of the blood of Jesus Christ, sin and death are defeated for all eternity. For those in Christ, we walk through the shadow. Shadows are defined in Merriam-Webster 1828 as: the dark figure cast upon a surface by a body intercepting the rays from a source of light and partial darkness or obscurity within a part of space from which rays from a source of light are cut off by an interposed opaque body. We can see it's dark appearance on a surface but it's just an image. It can do nothing to harm us. Sadly, for those who aren't secure in the Father's love, that dark appearance that won't affect you on this side of Earth, will be a permanent reminder in Hell. You too though can come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ before it's too late.
Next, I recalled something I read years ago but couldn't remember where. I tried to think for a minute, but just Googled it instead. I was pleasantly surprised. I quickly found it:
Barnhouse: The Shadow of Death
I remember hearing Dr. Donald Grey Barnhouse, pastor of the Tenth Presbyterian Church Philadelphia, relate about his first wife's death. He, with his children, had been to the funeral service, and he was driving home. Dr. Barnhouse said that he was trying to think of some words of comfort that he could give them. Just then a huge moving van passed them. As it passed, the shadow swept over the car, and as the truck pulled in front of them, an inspiration came to Dr. Barnhouse. He said, "Children, would you rather be run over by a truck, or by its shadow?" The children said, "Well, of course Dad, we'd much rather be run over by the shadow! That can't hurt us at all." Dr. Barnhouse said, "Did you know that two thousand years ago the truck of death ran over the Lord Jesus in order that only its shadow might run over us?" (Lou Nicholes Missionary/Author).
Christ would sooner lose His life than lose His people. He did die once to save them, and until He dies again, they shall never perish. Hath he not said Himself, Because I live ye shall live also?" Unless they live, He does not live. His life has entered into them, and it can never leave them. "I give," saith he, "unto my sheep eternal life"; and what can "eternal life" mean but a life which lasts on forever? The Valley of the Shadow of Death by Charles Spurgeon (click to read if you like)
Tess's birthday this year is significant because I see it as a milestone. I mentioned in a previous blog posted in October 2021 that our family went through some really hard things again. I'm positive anyone reading this has too. We all deal with life stuff of different degrees and levels and those two years with the pandemic was, say it with me, "unprecedented." I believe Almighty God used those years as wake-up calls to open eyes (those whose eyes could be opened) to many things. I know He was working uniquely in our family (as He was yours too) because He's always working whether it's realized or not. As hard as it was, it was answers to prayers prayed.
Tess struggled! Yes, I know at times we all struggle with things, very hard things, but this was a "could've had a different outcome" struggle. Things did not get better at all when she went off to college. Little did she know what lied ahead. We all make our own choices, but she was highly influenced by worldly, ungodly peers. She didn't recognize the enemy's tactics even though I had tried my best to teach her because of what I had learned about Satan and his master plan after losing Clark David. She compromised her faith in Jesus Christ. She stopped reading her Bible and was feeding the desires of the flesh. She, like Clark David (and any Christian truly living for the Lord), was in a spiritual battle for her mind to make her ineffective to serve the purposes of God. The devil could not touch her soul though, nor Clark David's because they are children of God.
My greatest fear with Clark David going off to college (which never happened) was being influenced greater by the wrong crowd and being further conformed to the world's ways. I firmly believe God allowed what happened to rescue him, to save him from himself because of how great our Father's love is. But Tess. Sadly, my fear would come true with her. It's been surreal how similar their two lives have been. BUT GOD! Even though Tess has had to suffer consequences, she has repented, turned back to the Lord, been forgiven, and He is restoring and reviving her. He rebuked and chastened her and faithfully brought her back into relationship with Jesus. He literally brought her back home and she’s so grateful to be here. Clark David came back home too, but the stronghold of Satan was too powerful. BUT GOD! He is mightier and has the final say. Tess’s relocation thankfully was not Heaven yet. Though so heartbreaking still, I still praise God!
Two similar lives with different outcomes. He is not finished with her here. I've already experienced the other devasting outcome of losing a child to suicide and am still living in that aftermath so, that's why this birthday is so significant to me. I'm blessed and so grateful she is turning 20 on Sunday, March 19th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes that's 20 exclamation marks) and she is here to be refined and used for God’s glory. Clark David is still being used in many ways I cannot fully see, yet! But one day soon I most definitely will. His earthly death has been and is being used as my tutor. Each life has a number of days allotted to it known only by Creator God and He tells us that in His Book. But don't take my word for it. Check the Author out...in His Holy Word the Bible.
"Who can wipe away the tears from broken dreams and wasted years and tell the past to disappear? Oh let me tell you 'bout MY JESUS." (click to hear song)
Below the picture in the living room hangs a framed photo with the words, "We're All Just Walking Each Other Home," given to me by my sister-in-law. The "H" in Home is capitalized to represent Heaven. Home is Heaven where God sits on His throne ruling and reigning. I've seen quotes about family and home and gatherings just as you probably have. One in particular was, "Home is Where We Are." For me, I see Home as being where we will be. I would say, "My Home is Heaven Where Jesus Is," and "My Home is a Place I've Never Been to Before." It's wonderful to have a God-given family to live life with and I'm grateful God has blessed me with one, but I know this Earth is not my home. I dwell here temporarily. This is just a blip on the radar compared to eternity. I'm just passing through. Yes, very difficult things happen here, but I know I will look back one day soon and they'll be a faraway memory. I'm patiently waiting when the Lord Jesus will be revealed and the new Heaven and new Earth will be ushered in. I'm anticipating when there will be no more sin, only real, biblical love, and Family. My whole Family. I'm separated from part of my family now and all of those in Christ are separated from Family until our Father God says it’s time. One day soon I will meet all my brothers and sisters in Christ I have never met and be with those I've already met. And will know them; truly know them and love them all the more. I'm anticipating a day where all wrongs will be made right and all will truly be well. Clark David will meet Maddy and know her because she is a daughter of the King and her future Home awaits too. I'm waiting for the day to see Jesus face to face and fall at His feet. I'm waiting for the day I will get to embrace (touch with my hands) Clark David and he won't mind at all!!!!!!!! Maybe we will hold hands and walk around in our eternal Home, where we belong...Family, all together praising our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ forever and ever.
I was in the middle of working on this post and wasn't sure about the title and if I would even finish writing it. I almost stayed home, but decided to go to Wednesday evening church. As I walked in the building and grabbed an outline off the wall, I read the title as I always do. We've been in a series on spiritual disciplines and what do ya know, "Discipline of Suffering!!!!!" was the title with five exclamation marks. Moments after it began Pastor Malcolm said, "The Best is Yet to Come." I thought yes, Lord, that's exactly what You’ve told me too and prompted me to title this post. This suffering is all temporary in Christ Jesus. And Romans 8:18 says, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us (KJV). As Pastor said that night, "The believer does not focus on today's sufferings; he looks forward to tomorrow's glory.
Click to listen to Pastor Malcolm on Discipline Of Suffering - YouTube
Click to listen to Rick Burgess on Redemption from Revelation.
Click to listen to "Why Do We Suffer" Rick Burgess
For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. Therefore, we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians4:15-18).
But the God of grace, who hath called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you (1 Peter 5:10)
Heaven is still only heartbeats away. The grave is still temporary housing. God is still faithful.
--Max Lucado, "you'll get through this"
"WE'RE ALMOST HOME" (song)
Happy 9th Heavenly Year
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| Your Cherry Tree in Full Bloom 3.14.23 |
Our soul waits for the LORD; He is
our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.
Let Your mercy, O LORD, be upon us, Just as we hope in You (Psalm 33:20-22).
P.S. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING OR LISTENING TO Sherri Burgess's book titled, "Bronner: A Journey to Understand. It is an excellent biblically sound book that speaks on suffering, why we suffer, and the purpose of it. It's a one-of-a-kind book on grief.
I asked Tess if I could write a little about her story. She gave her approval with a quick "meow." That may be odd to anyone who reads this. Tess knows she is a human being and not a cat, but anyone who knows her knows she loves her cats (Angel and Heidi) and our dog (Moose) who bring such comfort. When she doesn't feel like talking or wants to be silly and greet family, that's what she does and we're okay with it☺.
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